This book is a nightmare It s as if Jamie McGuire reached into my brain, found my worst nightmare, wrote it down, and then charged me 13.99 to relive it But that s not all I read this book on an 8 hour flight from London to Toronto This book and I spent 8 hours together, in coach seating, with nothing to do but surrender to the impossibility of an escape There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, as this book stared up at me, begging to be read Give me a chance, it said Just because my author ostentatiously attacked reviewers like a spoiled brat last year during the Great War of Goodreads doesn t mean I m a heap of shit Read me Read me, bitch Read me I caved to the demands of the book, and am now a quivering wreck on the floor I will proceed to chronicle my transition from literature enthusiast to broken shell of a woman below.Beautiful Disaster A hallmark of passive aggressive literature that is secretly at home in the apocalyptic genreTake off My spirits are high The first page is fine, if a little poorly written I make a note that this book kind of reads like fanfiction Also making a strong effort not to blend the author s tasteless actions last year with the content of the book Also laughing at the ridiculous character names, but reminding self that neither America or Shepley is as bad as Eureka Boudreaux.Growing distaste for random Pigeon nickname.Hour one Surprised by route taken by book There appears not to be instalove, which really shouldn t be surprising, given the nature of the absolutely deplorable love interest who is a walking caricature of male privilege, misogyny and rape culture rolled into one physically unappealing package Writing grinds on my nerves excessive and contextless swearing, as well as random British words and phrases, pepper the text Parker Abby Travis love triangle is unrealistic, twisted, and does not hang together All Abby does is fuck Parker over, and all Travis does is fuck Abby over, and all Parker does is belittle Abby and walk around looking perfect, and no trouble stirs from this despite Travis and Parker being frat brothers Why the fuck is Travis even in the fraternity, because all he does is beat the shit out of everyone Then again, this sort of antisocial clique mentality and culture of gender binary is what fraternities and sororities thrive on Constant and aggressive misogyny against every other woman who shows interest in Travis is a motif within Abby s narrative They re bimbo twins, or they re short skirted sluts, or they re giving themselves up Of course, Travis engaging in promiscuous behaviour is sympathized with because he s troubled.Hour two All sympathy for book waning Abby and Travis revolve around each other like the doors at Macy s and whine about loving each other but not being sure about the other person s feelings, meanwhile the entire college watches them as if they are the centre of the universe and Abby shrugs off this fame while smoothing down her modest cardigan and flipping her modest hair like a good girl A really popular misogynist date rapist is in love with me, she says, in front of an adoring freshman audience But we re just friends Whatever I don t let it go to my head Self indulgent narrative sympathizes aggressively with dysfunctional central relationship and tries to convince reader that said dysfunctional central relationship is not abusive by addressing this threat of abuse through the lens of characters set up by the narrative to be villainous bitchy slutty All women except those in committed relationships are portrayed as harpies This 400 page book, narrated by a female character, written by a woman, just barely passes the Bechdel test.Hour three Cabin fever sets in The book and I stare each other down, with the seatbelt sign looming over our heads as a hellish omen sent to warn us of the impending five hours of the journey, in which we will remain locked in a turbulence fuelled death grip at 40,000 feet Determined not to succumb to the throes of insanity, I throw the book under the seat and watch Oz, The Great and Powerful Movie is just as misogynistic and cheesy as book Book finds its way back into my hands I open it and go hard at it, determined to finish it in the next three hours However, I am forced to gag into my white paper vomit bag when a sex scene with all the romantic appeal of the guts sequence from The Walking Dead blindsides me I read another hundred or so pages filled with nothing but belly button fluff, and then the proverbial towel is thrown in again Bonus points for Travis trashing the apartment like a fucking gorilla in heat after Abby leaves in the morning without saying goodbye Bonus bonus points for having Abby apologize for his appalling, violent, frightening behaviour Hour four Insanity sings a siren song I am barely able to hold on to my mind as a huge convoluted plot involving Vegas, poker and cronies springs up out of thin air Abby and Travis break up because Travis wants to join the Mob , and the sun seems to shine again.Hour five Abby and Travis fuck each other over again, constantly pussy footing around the truth and their feelings However, hilarity ensues when one realizes that they have broken up and Travis is stuck with Pigeon tattooed on his wrist What a fucking idiot Aside book seems to spookily endorse tattooing other people s names and script related to other people s names on one s body It is a very, very bad idea to tattoo another person s name on your body. This is pretty much a renowned fact Tattoo artists everywhere will strongly advise against it Abby and Travis fuck again in his father s house but they don t get back together Hour six The plane has entered Canada and the end of the longest flight in history appears to be in sight However, the book refuses to wrap up There is misogyny to be had, violent behaviour from Travis, pussy footing, and a reunion which oozes with cheese Side characters America and Shepley continue to be aggressively boring Hour seven weird fire at the fighting ring subplot appears, and fizzles away to nothing Motif of weird fizzling subplots emerges and it becomes apparent that there is no plot to this book, only an abusive and codependent relationship and its hurdles Nothing actually happens except a few immature and bratty kids behaving like dogs in heat, spattering period blood all over the floor and pissing on strangers pant legs They are the most inconvenient, self absorbed and antagonistic group of people who all need a good, solid kick in the pants Bonus points for pretending to be inclusive by having a gay character Yes, pretending Book is not inclusive when book portrays a gay character as an extreme and commodified caricature with absolutely no expression of sexuality, no agency, and no reason for existence outside of consoling the main character when her straight romance breaks down Hour eight Travis and Abby are married in Vegas at nineteen years old which I suppose is meant to be a happy ending but in fact leaves a very bad taste in my mouth Cheesiest scene in the history of the universe proceeds, along with fifty pages of surrounding filler Book seems to drag on forever chronicling Abby and Travis as they check in at the airport, as they drive somewhere, as they hug, and as they recycle the same conversation filled with sweet nothings that they have exchanged at least twenty times before I am crying inside, begging for this ordeal to be over When it is, a tsunami of relief washes over me I arrive home, go to bed, and do not awaken for eleven hours.In conclusion this book is not beautiful This book is just a disaster FIN The New Abby Abernathy Is A Good Girl She Doesn T Drink Or Swear, And She Has The Appropriate Number Of Cardigans In Her Wardrobe Abby Believes She Has Enough Distance From The Darkness Of Her Past, But When She Arrives At College With Her Best Friend, Her Path To A New Beginning Is Quickly Challenged By Eastern University S Walking One Night Stand Travis Maddox, Lean, Cut, And Covered In Tattoos, Is Exactly What Abby Needs And Wants To Avoid He Spends His Nights Winning Money In A Floating Fight Ring, And His Days As The Ultimate College Campus Charmer Intrigued By Abby S Resistance To His Appeal, Travis Tricks Her Into His Daily Life With A Simple Bet If He Loses, He Must Remain Abstinent For A Month If Abby Loses, She Must Live In Travis S Apartment For The Same Amount Of Time Either Way, Travis Has No Idea That He Has Met His Match WowTravis, Travis, Travis I liked him, I hated him, I liked him againI worried about his sanitythen I loved him And, oddly enough, I had a lot of the same feelings about Abby So many times I wanted to scream at her, then him, then her again Great, complex characters I loved this Wonderful story, wonderful world, wonderful author Nope Can t do it It s just too horrible I ve reached my max saturation point of stupidity. Shake in your boots,boys,and drop your panties,ladies I give you Travis Mad Dog Maddox He made his entrance,shirtless,relaxed and unaffected.The lean muscles stretched under his tattooed skin Okay ladies,here we go.1,2,3 and.S.W.O.O.NHe oozed sex and rebelliousness with his buzzed,brown hair and tattooed forearms Uh oh boy Here go my ovariesUmmmQUESTIONCan I get pregnant from thisAnyway Okay,now the storyline Abby Abernathy has a secret.She has a past.A dark past.And to escape it all,she makes a new beginning at Eastern University,with her best friend AmericaI could finally walk somewhere without the whispers of those who knew or thought they knew anything about my past.I was as indistinguishable as any other wide eyed,over achieveing freshman on their way to class no staring,no rumors,no pity or judgement.Only the illusion of what I wanted them to see Cashmered,no nonsense Abby AbernathyOkay,I ll be truthful and tell you that I have no special love for her.Now,coming back to the story,America has a new boyfriend Shepley.He takes them watch a ring fight.And there Readers,we are first introduced to Travis,room mate and cousin of Shepley.He can t be beaten.He can t be ignored.He never backs down from a challenge.He is a walking one night stand.Ladies.he is UNTAMABLE.Now,I wish I could tell only good things but it won t be fair if I don t tell that he is also..A jerk,temperamental,impulsive,has anger management issues,immature,at times downright stupid,and also has a little stalkerish tendencies Now,Abby s whole life goes topsy turvy when she becomes Travis s Pigeon.Their attraction is instant.But Abby is not ready to become yet another conquest.And Travis is not ready to back down from such a refreshing challengeSo what s your story,Pidge Are you a man hater in general,or do you just hate me I think it s just you..I didn t say you re a bad person.I just don t like being a foregone conclusion for the sole reason of having a vagina His eyes widened and he quivered with howling laughter Oh My God You are killing me.That s it.We have to friends.I won t take no for an answerThat marks the start of their friendship But are they destined to be just friends or something else,something Readers,they are insane together.They are out of controlIt s dangerous to need someone that much.You re trying to save him and he s hoping you can.You two are a disaster I smiled at the ceiling It doesn t matter what or why it is.When it s good,Karait s beautifulSo together they are BEAUTIFUL DISASTERNow you must be wondering Why 3 stars then Read on for thatbut only if you have read this book WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD I ll say once again Please do NOT read this if you have not read this book already Okay,my greatest complaint about this book wasSENSEthe plots one after the other made none after sometime.I was actually loving and enjoying this book when I watched in horror the events unfold.How could Abby not know that Travis was in love with her I don t blame her for trying to keep Travis only as a friend.But HOW could she sleep with him and then LEAVE him And she accepted to go on a date with Parker that very day.And after thatYou re going out with him tonight Travis seethed I told you he was going to ask me out after I got back to Morgan.He called me yesterday Things have changed a little bit since that conversation,don t you think WhyWhy WHY Because you slept with him even though you knew you were leaving and he s crazy about you I stood my ground,staring straight into his eyes Since when is sex so life or death to youAnd TravisTravis is a fucking wreck He won t talk to us, he s trashed theapartment, threw the stereo across the room.Shep can t talk any sense into him He took a swing at Shep when he found out we helped you leave Abby It s scaring me Abby, he s gone fucking nuts I heard him call your name, and then he stomped all over the apartment looking for you He barged into Shep s room, demanding to know where you were Then he tried to call you Over, and over and over, she sighed His face was Jesus, Abby I ve never seen him like that He ripped his sheets off the bed, and threw them away, threw his pillows away, shattered his mirror with his fist, kicked his door broke it from the hinges It was the scariest thing I ve ever seen in my lifeSeriously Travis,I LOVE YOU,baby but you NEED TO GROW UP Be the Travis who never backs down from a challenge and sayGROW UP CHALLENGE ACCEPTED Now,this was just the beginning.After sometime I felt as if I was watching a ping pong match Abby fucks up.Then Travis fucks up.Then Abby fucks up again.Then Travis never backs down from challenge,remember fucks up again.Oh God When they broke up and were saying good bye during Thanksgivingit was too much.She had already dumped him.And then she realized her mistake,and wanted to get back with him.But when he was letting her go and sayingI can t imagine being with anyone else,but I ll be happy as long as we re friends You want to be friends I asked,the words burning in my mouth I want you to be happy.Whatever it takes My insides wrenched at his words,and I was surprised at the overpowering pain I felt.He was giving me an out,and it was exactly when I didn t want it.I could have told him that I had changed my mind and he would take back everything he d just said,but I knew that it wasn t fair to either of us to hold on just when he had let go. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.The only thing I can think of is either she is a MASOCHIST or she loves playing damsel in distress Their last make up was weird too.I m still trying to figure out how that happened AnywayI know that you are still thinking about Why 3 stars Though in a different sense.Well,frankly,I gave it 3 stars because I am biased.And because no matter how much they fucked up,there were several moments when I absolutely adored them.Travis,you are a disaster and immediately need a shrink In the end, I want to say that I can empathize with people who gave it 5 stars,as well as with people who gave it 1 star.That s all for now,Readers.Ta Ta 5 stars with a caveat, and by far my most difficult review to write to date.I m honestly baffled by my response to this book because I not only enjoyed the story, but I also gave it high marks In many ways this book is everything I hate in a Young Adult romance, but I still found myself enthralled, giddy, and starry eyed, regardless of how annoyed I became at time In fact, I felt like I was at odds with myself during most of it There was my latent teenage self, all starry eyed and idealistic, who loved everything about this book, warring with my mature and realistic 40 year old self who knows better It became quite exasperating.I found I liked all the characters in this book Not once did I become annoyed with them shocking for a Young Adult story The characters were multi dimensional and authentic I was easily transported into their world of college drama although, frankly, it felt like High School.Right from the start I fell head over heels in love with Travis He s such a lovable jerk He epitomizes the charismatic, lackadaisical, tattooed, sexier than all get out bad boy over whom most young girls swoon He s volatile, tough, flirty, compulsive, charming, aggressive, shameless, intelligent, domineering, proud, and nonchalant He also has a tenderhearted, kind and vulnerable side that makes it impossible not to love him He really is the ultimate fantasy.Our book begins with Abby, our level headed and strong willed heroine, attending an underground college fight club where Travis Mad Dog Maddox is the undefeated champion Unimpressed with his slick and smooth talking manner, she brushes him off, wanting nothing to do with him Only too familiar with his type, she knows he means trouble Travis, intrigued because Abby is immune to his charms, all but stalks her, wanting to win her over Eventually he succeeds What begins as a genuine friendship slowly blooms into an all consuming, passionate, and frankly, obsessive and codependent relationship.I really liked Abby s character I was braced to dislike her as the story progressed, fearing she would become little than a doormat because of the codependent and obsessive relationship she had with Travis However, I was pleasantly surprised at how level headed she remained throughout the book She confronted all of his red flag behaviors in a mature and rational manner, even leaving him for a time The thing that makes this story both intriguing and appalling, is Travis obsession with Abby He is consumed by her She becomes his everything Exhilarating in theory unhealthy in reality His obsession, at times, becomes disturbing and worrisome In the end Travis makes some behavioral changes, albeit surface than substance, hoping to win Abby back He succeeds, and Abby returns to the relationship In doing so, some readers may believe in the misconception that one person can change another While a part of me knows better I still loved so much about this book I am a girl, after all Would I want my 17 year old daughter to read this No Very few teens have either the experience or maturity to distinguish between fantasy and reality.But will I read this book again Yes Oh dear, this makes me a hypocrite I read this book right after shameless plug I wrote my first book, Slammed Speaking of Slammed, who do you think would win in a fist fight between Travis Maddox and poetry teacher, Will Cooper Haha HAHAHAHA BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Let s look on the bright side Will Cooper would write a really kick ass poem about his hospital stay. DELETED AND READDED BECAUSE SOMEONE HAD IT BURIED Beautiful Disaster opens up at night in the basement of an empty academic building on a college campus where a fighting betting ring known as The Circle is being run This is where we meet Travis Mad Dog Maddox, the male romantic lead He, of course, wins his fight The female lead, Abby, is attending the fight club for the first time that night She ends up with blood on her cashmere sweater and a new name given to her by Travis, who doesn t even bother to ask for her name before arbitrarily deciding on Pigeon It is the way one might rename a dog one has adopted.We meet Travis again in the cafeteria He is beingfollowed by two voluptuous bottle blondes wearing Sigma Kappa tees One of them sat on Travis lap, the other sat beside him, pawing at his shirtAbby s best friend America, who also happens to be dating Travis s cousin and roommate, makes a snide comment One of the blonde s calls her a skank Travislets his knees give way, sending her tumbling to the floorbecause America is his friend This little interlude sets up two major reoccurring issues girl on girl hate and Travis treating girls like garbage to step over Every girl in the book except for Abby and America is a skank, a bitch or a bitchy skank As for Travis, this incident of deliberately humiliating a girl in public and dropping her on the floor like the used condom wrapper she represents to him is actually as close to a gentleman as he ever gets because this is one of the mildest examples of his behavior.After lunch, Travis and Abby conveniently have a class together although they seemed to have seen each other for the first time at the fight last night Whatever, get used to this author making up shit as she goes along and writing inconsistently from start to finish I can give you a list of minor yet annoying continuity issues in the comment section below if asked.Travis fixates on Abby and sits beside her, leaving disappointed girls by his usual seat He indicates she should take notes for him and spends the rest of the class zoned out Never fear though Travis is a freaking genius He doesn t need notes or studying or attending classes to ace the grades On a similar note, he also does not need to eat healthy or exercise to maintain his muscle mass and six pack I m sorry, but every guy I ve talked to with a body like Travis s could go on extensively about his diet and workout regime We don t have to worry about believability in this world because despite the lack of traditional fantasy markings nothing about this book remotely resembles reality In this world, control and abuse can turn into a happily ever after.With minimal effort Travis pesters Abby into agreeing to come to his apartment after school with her friend America, who is there often to see her own boyfriend, Shepley, Travis s cousin She agrees and then attempts to dress in the most disgusting way possibleMy hair was piled on top of my head in a messy bun I had scrubbed the makeup from my face and repalced my contacts with rectangular black rimmed glasses Sporting a ratty t shirt and sweatpants, I shuffles along in a pair of flip flopsI ll hold on while you get your favorite religious artifact to hold off this monster This description pretty much matches me at the moment on my day off Rawr.Anyway, Travis is not put off by this visual and decides to drag her out to dinner, which he gasp never does with the girls he sleeps with Abby s friend America is the least helpful person when it comes to rejecting Travis s unwanted advancesI was just heading out for dinner You hungry, PidgeWe still have no idea why he s calling her thisI already ate, I shruggedDialogue is routinely shrugged and smiled rather than spokenNo you haven t, America said before realizing her mistake Oherthat s right, I forgot you grabbed a pizza Before we left I can t even tell you how much trouble my friend would be in if she did that to me Still crappy friend aside, no one forces Abby to go with Travis, no one forces her to get on the back of her motorcycle She does all of these things despite being extremely uncomfortable around him because Abby is an idiot During dinner Travis opens up to her about his dead mother and they connect a bit So much so that he insists on sitting beside her the next day at lunch by bullying someone else out of an already occupied chair And it is bullying He does not ask for the chair so much as claims it already belongs to him much like Abby and then he stares the guy down until he moves Abby is pleased with the attention and the girls looking at her to see who Travis insisted on sitting beside.The next big plot movement involves broken boilers in America and Abby s dorm room America s solution is that they move in with Shep and Travis until they fix the boilers What the hell I can t comprehend how moving off campus to be near hot water could possibly be convenient than living on campus and heading to an off campus apartment once a day for a shower Really, you re not supposed to be thinking this much, but since Abby protests vehemently before capitulating you do get a lot of time to think about what a stupid idea this is I would have preferred a day of skipping a shower or a cold shower to living with someone who made me uncomfortable.Abby and America arrive at the apartment just as Travis s latest fling is getting ready to leave She offers him her number and he declines in front of an audience of two other girls and his roommate, letting her know exactly what she means They re not a silent audience either Every time America said She looked at the woman How are you surprised by this He s Travis fucking Maddox He s famous for this very thing, and every time they re surprised America s boyfriend must comfort her after she delivers this tirade even though the girl she insinuated was, at best, naive and, at worse, stupid is still standing there Abby is not pleased with all of this because she didn t realizeShepley s apartment was a revolving door for clueless bimbosI love how other girls in this book are treated It s just fantastic My favorite is Abby calling the girls Travis sleeps with STD infested imbeciles.Abbystared at the couch, the cushions still askew and bunched up from its recent use I recoiled at the thought of how many women had given themselves away against the fabric Itchy fabric at thatNice, right Nothing about Travis or how he treated them, just the awful, dirty sexually active girls.Abby decides she can t possibly sleep on the couch so Travis offers her his bed He does not fuck girls in there This speaks volumes about how he views women, good enough for his dick, not good enough for his sheets I ll kill the suspense here He sleeps with her in his bed, but not before he keeps wandering in and out of the bathroom while she s showering He brings her a towel and her toothbrush while she s showering and then ignores her shrieks at him to get out He does not knock before entering the bathroom nor did he announce himself He just opens the door and makes himself at home It s creepy He brings her stuff in, which means he went through her bags She shrieks about him going through her stuff and he ignores her, not offering an excuse or apology She shrieks at him to get out again and he insists he has to brush her teeth all while she s naked on the other side of the curtain It s all invasive, scary, and the start of a very alarming and controlling relationship.I wouldn t have finished showering I would have gotten dressed, soapy hair and all, before heading back to my home Abby, who has stood in the shower with her arms wrapped defensively around her chest listening to him brush his teeth, gets out of the shower and SMILES at the night moisturizer Travis brought her while violating her privacy and personal space Vomit Vomit Vomit.During Abby and America s long stay with Travis and Shepley seriously, the campus couldn t open another dorm building for them to shower in , they all go to a bar together In an attempt to prove they re not sleeping together to the rest of the school Travis and Abby dance together I don t get the logic there Anyway he licks her throat She is not happy He s mad she s not happy and grinds up on some other girl She flirts with the bartender, but Travis puts a swift stop to that Because the guy is a rapist He s been arrested for it and Travis knows all about it Thank God for Travis Thank God for his instructions not to take drinks from anyone but him and his cousin, because they treat girls with all the respect in the world and are the most upstanding citizens to take drinks from Vomit Vomit Vomit.They are still a foursome when Travis gets called for another fight He asks Abby to go with him America gives her non Abbyish clothes to wear a deep cut, yellow halter top and tight, low rise jeans Travis takes one look at her and DEMANDS she change Travis s mouth fell open Oh, hell no Are you trying to get me killed You ve gotta change, Pidge What I asked, looking down.America grabbed her hips She looks cute, Trav, leave her alone Travis took my hands and led me down the hall Get a t shirt on and some sneakers Something comfortable What Why Because I ll be worried about who s looking at your tits in that shirt instead of Hoffman, he said, stopping at his door I thought you said you didn t give a damn what anyone else thought That s a different scenario, Pigeon Travis looked down at my chest and then up at me You can t wear this to a fight, so please just please just change, he stuttered, shoving me into the room and shutting me in. Abby gets changed.Then she gets on his stupid motorcycle again while he drives dangerously When they get there, Travis claims he can go his entire fight without getting hit Abby calls bullshit Travis offers to make a bet He won t sleep with anyone for a month if he gets hit If he doesn t get hit she has to continue living with him in his apartment for a month I don t even have words to express how I felt when this stupid girl took this stupid bet, but she does Travis wins She must live with him I think when you take away someone s constant choice to be with you then it becomes skeevy.Shepley gets angry at Abby for the agreement because she promised not to get involved with Travis Whenever Travis screws around with the best friend of the girl he s dating it ends badly for him Of course, he doesn t fight with Travis or demand promises of Travis, no he screams at the girl Abby insists there s nothing sexual between them and that there never will be Travis comes out of the shower during all her insisting and gets annoyed As revenge he goes to a bar, comes home at two AM with not one but two girls He goes into the room where Abby is sleeping, fishes through his bedside table for some condoms and heads back out into the living room to have a threesome She sits there listening to him giggling and moaning etc because she can t leave the bedroom without walking through the living room where his little threesome is going on When he s finished, he kicks the girls out, and he gets back in bed with her reeking of whiskey.She gets out of bed, steps over condom wrappers and sleeps on the reclining chair In the morning, America acts like a real friend for the first time and packs Abby s things to take her home Even Shepley is contrite Travis wanders in during this conversation, having already been out to buy all of Abby s favorite foods for the month she will be staying with him I m going to pause and say gifts after emotional or physical abuse are part of a pretty common cycle Abby stays because Abby is an idiot who insists a bet is a bet Travis apologizes and hedges around letting her out of the bet When Abby indicates it is the only thing keeping her there he holds her to it.While she s living with Travis, Abby starts a tentative relationship with a boy named Parker who seems pretty decent Travis responds as one might expect even though he has made no real romantic gesture towards Abby when she leaves a party with Parker He leaned in, seeming flustered I ll kill him if he touches you I like him, I said, emphasizing each word.He seemed stunned at my confession and then his features turned severe Fine If he ends up holding you down in the backseat of a car, don t come crying to me Convenient how every guy except Travis is a rapist Of course, Parker is not really a rapist Travis is just insinuating it to scare Abby into going home with him Because Travis is the safe choice Vomit Vomit Vomit.Parker behaves like a gentleman, kissing her cheek goodnight Travis is waiting so close to the door that he opens it before she can push which causes her to fall in He does this just about every time she goes on a date with Parker The only exception, I believe, was when he drunkenly went down to the car where they were kissing and pulled her out of it The wheels of Parker s shiny Porsche squealed out of the parking lot, and Travis lit a cigarette You can go inside now, Mare She tugged on my skirt C mon, Abby Why don t you stay, Abs, he seethed.I nodded for America to go ahead and she reluctantly complied I crossed my arms, ready for a fight, preparing myself to lash out at him after the inevitable lecture Travis took several drags from his cigarette, and when it was obvious that he wasn t going to explain my patience ran out Why did you do that I asked Why Because he was mauling you in front of my apartment he yelled His eyes were unfocused, and I could see he was incapable of rational conversation.I kept my voice calm I may be staying with you, but what I do, and who I do it with is my businessgood for you, Abby He flicked his cigarette to the ground You re so much better than that, Pidge Don t let him fuck you in a car like a cheap prom date I wasn t going to have sex with himso much for it being her business More vomit inducing craziness in which Abby accuses him of spying on her He tells her he doesn t want to know about when she sleeps with Parker She says that would be a big step for her He says that s what all girls say Abby says,I don t mean the sluts you deal with I mean me I haven t ugh Nevermind Yes, she s a virgin so she really is different from all the sluts he slept with Ugh is right I think waiting for someone you re really comfortable with and really in love with is a good thing, but I also never felt superior to girls who felt differently about it The girl on girl hate in this book is ridiculous.After Travis humiliates Abby in front of her date, intimidates and threatens her date until he leaves, and laughs with delight and relief over her virginity he then attempts to drunkenly seduce her Abby goes along with it This is where I felt a migraine coming on The seduction stops because Travis doesn t want it to be like that between them Lovely that the drunk Neanderthal calls all the shots.I m only at thirty percent of the book here and I only have 25% of the room left to review so I m going to start doing some heavy condensing.Creepy Things Travis Does 1 He buys Abby a puppy for her birthday to keep at his apartment so that she will always have to come back.2 He beats his friends to a bloody pulp in the school cafeteria for making sexual innuendos about Abby In reality he would ve got tasered by security After several incidents he would ve been kicked out of the university, but don t worry about reality in this book.3 He lets Parker and the rest of the school believe he s sleeping with Abby to chase him away.4 He refuses to allow Abby out of the bet even though he is strangling her healthy relationship with Parker.5 Immediately after Abby and Travis sleep together he calls himself her last first kiss then he destroys the apartment and rages at Shepley and America for helping her leave when his words creeps her out.6 After only a few weeks, he tattoos Pigeon on his wrist and a long Hebrew scripture quote about belonging to your beloved and your beloved belonging to you Never has the word belonging seemed so threatening.7 Screams at her for accepting a drink from another guy because it could have roofies in it and besides, she s HIS GIRL, HE will buy her drinks NO ONE ELSE.8 Punches a guy who is touching her while her face is inches away from the guy s face.9 Stalks her after a break up Lies to his family about them still being together Manipulates her into pretending to still be a couple so she ll cook dinner Thanksgiving dinner for his family Kisses and has sex with her even though he s promised he wouldn t cross those lines again I m not absolving Abby of her stupidity here either 10 Stalks her some Drags guys away from dancing with her Threatens their lives if they go near her Tosses her over his shoulder and drags her out of a party Demands a designated driver take them to his apartment, drags her kicking and screaming out of the driver s car, tosses her in his apartment Somehow they end up having sex Don t fucking ask me It grossed me out I can t stomach re reading it.Awful Plot Devices 1 Zac Effron sing along I read in another review that Travis had the charm to pull off a Zac Effron sing along I thought this was meant to be an exaggerated comparison it was not He sings Rolling Stone s I Can t Get No Satisfaction in the school cafeteria with the football players as back up singers This is really not a joke.2 A trip to Vegas where Travis fights to win money so Abby can pay the debt her big time gambling father has transfered to her Oh, did I not mention she is the daughter of a famous poker player 3 Travis getting offered 100,000 per fight to continue fighting in Vegas He decides to take the offer despite Abby s protests and then is shocked and a rage maniac when she breaks up with him because of it, despite knowing she wanted nothing to do with that lifestyle4 A basement fire at fight club bought on by gas lanterns Because people really use those any Don t worry Everyone important lives Because this is reality.5 Abby proposes, they go to Vegas again to get married, she gets a tattoo that reads Mrs Maddox and mentally refers to it as a brand several times.Real Ways this Book Could Have Ended in Order to be Realistic and Send a Message 1 Travis kills Abby in a drunken fit of rage over something she s wearing, saying, and or doing Travis spends the rest of his life in jail.2 Travis kills some guy for interacting with Abby in a way he deems inappropriate Travis spends the rest of his life in jail and either A Abby visits him twice a week for the rest of her life or B The guy s death serves as a wake up call for Abby and she spends the rest of her life far, far away.3 Travis kills Abby and some guy in a drunken rage because he preceived a threat Travis spends the rest of his life in jail.I don t believe Travis is smart enough to get away with any of the murders because he usually doesn t see any reason to hide his awful behavior He does everything in front of many, many witnesses every single time I purchased this book several months ago because I planned on reading a lot of self published books in 2012 as a reading project I purchased it before I read the author s blog post berating negative reviewers I would not have purchased the book had the post happened before the purchase. I m not sure what to write about this book The reviews for the book were SOOO incredibly misleading I thought Travis was going to hit her, or come close, the way everyone was going on about the abuse in the book I get it, it was intense But having seen real abuse with my own eyes, in real life..I didnt understand what everyone else saw that made it be worse and stand apart from all other books.This is a book about an alpha male Just because it s not a paranormal book and instead, a contemporary, it s not ok for him to act like that I m a pretty very conservative person and I ve read paranormal books where the guys act worse than that.Abby was the one who got on my nerves the most throughout the book for jerking Travis around all the time It s a book, and only a book, and I enjoyed it I think I ll stop reading reviews before I read a book Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I don t want to deterred from a book again I want to make my own decision And in my opinion, I LOVED Travis Great book, Jamie Life is not roses all the time and everybody can change.