This review is for the Celebrity Death Match TournamentWinnie the Pooh versusHamletOne day when the weather was especially fine, Pooh and his friends were playing Pooh sticks Pooh was thinking how nice it would be to have a playing Pooh sticks with your friends on an especially nice day sort of hum whenHey nonny nonny Was that mePooh asked Christopher RobinYou see, I was just thinking Silly old bear,said Christopher Robin fondlyThat wasn t you It was her Everyone looked over the side of the bridge where Christopher Robin was pointing and saw a young woman floating in the river, clutching a ragged bouquet of wildflowers and stringing together nonsense words in a sort of songHey nonny nonny tiddly pom I shall have to remember that one,thought Pooh As she floated out of sight, Christopher Robin said,Let s go on an expedition to find out where she came fromSo they did.Following the river, they reached the edge of the Hundred Acre Wood at about half past teatime and were surprised to find out they were in DenmarkOh d d dear,worried Piglet,Are there any horrible creatures in D d d enmark Let s go ask at that castle,said Christopher Robin.So they did.The path to the castle took them through a graveyard Clods of earth were being flung furiously out of a new hole being dug Suddenly, they all heard a whistling sort of voice ask,Sssay, hasss anybody ssseen a ssskull around here Up popped a gopher from the grave He pawed in the pile of dirt a bit, found the skull he was looking for, and held it upSssee thisss ssskullhe askedIt sss Oh hush,said Christopher RobinYou aren t in the books at all You were just an attempt to pander to American audiences and we shan t bother with you So they didn t.Arriving at the castle, the first person they met was practicing with a sword, which wasveryexciting, and muttering,If it be now, tis not to come if it be not to come, it will be now if it be not now, yet it will come,which wasn t.This muttering swordsman noticed them and extended his handThe name s Hamlet, title character in the greatest work in all of literature Oh, and a prince Christopher Robin shook his hand and asked politely,Excuse me, but why is it the greatest work of literature Because the play embodies Shakespeare s profound knowledge of human nature in all its complexity I myself am a striking portrait of melancholia Why I was just wondering the other day, To be or not to be Better not,said Eeyore melancholicallyIt never works out And Polonius,Hamlet continued,whom I, umm, killed a little while agohe was all You should do this and don t do that, time and place for everything Sounds like an excellent sort of chap,said Rabbit,Nothing like plans and rules and explanations to know what s what, I always say Hamlet frowned, his brow furrowed in thoughtBut I am also a skillful portrait of mania I m especially proud of my antic disposition Antic dispositionTigger said bouncily,That s what tiggers do best Realizing that his human nature argument was, perhaps, not quite as strong as he thought, Hamlet brought out his final devastating argument, one he saved for last because of its embarrassing natureUmmm, Mummy issueshe offered, blushing a little.Just then, Kanga s pouch roiled alarmingly and a fully grown Roo popped his head outWhat did he say, Mama Nothing dear, no need to interupt your nap Dejectedly, Hamlet stalked out of the room with sword in hand, muttering about taking actionHeard that one before,one of the guards by the throne room door chuckledLet s go watch the swordfight,said Christopher Robin.So they did.When it was all over, Christopher Robin was cowering in a corner shaking, the room was littered with highborn corpses, and Hamlet lay dying in Horatio s armsThe rest is silence Horatio, who until that moment no one had noticed was a llama, said,That s what forgiveness sounds like, screaming and then silenceThen he bent down and began eating Hamlet s hands Christopher Robin whimpered and covered his eyes.Just then, one of the room s tapestries billowed and out stepped Edna St Vincent Millay She crossed the room, pausing at the bloody tableau to intone,Your candle burned at both ends,It gave a lovely light,But for a lack of lithium,You ve gone and lost the fightShe knelt gently beside Christopher Robin, handed him his stuffed bear, and said,Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies A couple of survivors chipped in,What about Old Yeller And Charlotte the spider Cried myself silly over that one Edna St Vincent Millay quelled them with a lookAs I was saying, childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies Look around you Christopher Robin What do you see I see dead people Precisely And here are all your friends around you safe and sound Pooh gave Christopher Robin an especially reassuring squeeze with his paw Standing up a little shakily, Christopher Robin said,I don t like it here Let s go back to the Hundred Acre Wood So they did.Shortly after entering the wood, just as dusk was stretching shadows into hephalumpine and woozly shapes, they came to a fork in the path which they had never noticed before It was marked by a signpost One arrow pointed down one path, reading HELL. Another arrow pointed down the other path, reading ROOM 101. Robert Frost popped up from behind the signTwo roads divgered in a yellow wood Get lost, Robert,growled Edna St Vincent MillayI m the only poet ex machina in this review They continued up one of the paths, Pooh humming happily,The I win, tiddly pomWinner Winnie the Pooh Seriously, have you seen Hamlet He s dead And areyougoing to tell Christopher Robin his teddy bear isn t really alive Well, are you Check out Llamas with Hats, especially 1 and 2, on Youtube Seriously, Llamas with Hats Hamlet is obviously bipolar Lithium could have helped immensely Of course one of the common side effects of lithium is tremors, so he probably still wouldn t have won the fight An oldie but a goodie I couldn t resist. Another one of those imbibed with mother s milk books, like The Wind in the Willows and The Hobbit, which I am incapable of commenting on with any sort of objectivity I get a kick out of Pooh s hums, and the characters are old friends My dad s nickname for my mom was Pooh, and she introduced him to the Pooh books when they were dating he was a Jewish boy from Staten Island, and knew all about science and philosophy, but had missed out on most of the children s classics , and lines and characters from the books were part of our family culture My copy is one I purchased on a long ago and fondly remembered trip to England with my best childhood friend, so there s that muchsentiment involved You get the picture I turn to mush when it comes to Pooh Anyway, this is my last read this to my mom while she was dying of dementia cancer review, because, well, I don t get to read her any books But, we got to finish this one On Tuesday morning, her last day, I read her chapter IX, which is the one where Eeyore finds Owl a new house, only it happens to be Piglet s house, and Piglet does the Noble thing, and then X, An Enchanted Place That last chapter chokes me up in a normal reading when reading to a child Christopher Robin is leaving his nursery days, and he asks Pooh to always remember him He, Christopher Robin, doesn t want to leave, but it s time and he has to, but a part of him will always remain in this enchanted place with Pooh Mom was fading away, but she was still aware and registered the illustrations I showed her I only bothered her with the best ones She passed away Tuesday night, and I ll miss her terribly, but I think this was a fine book to end with. Alternate Cover Edition Can Be Found Here The World Of Pooh Is The Thousand Acre Wood Of Winnie The Pooh And His Friends Piglet, Eeyore, Tigger, Kanga, Christopher Robin, And He Is A Whimsical Philosopher, Staunch Friend, Plump, And Fond Of Honey He Calls Himself A Bear Of Very Little Brain, But Is Wise And Loving Delicate Paintings Loved By Centuries Of Children Celebrity Death Match tournament versus Mary Poppins.Christopher Robin May I color with my Winnie the Pooh and friends coloring book before I make up my bed with ideal hospital corners My shins are scraped from having too much fun cleaning.His boy lips turn to blue in his deathly pale white face Her mask conforms to a perfect Noh shape He reads the lips No Oh noh Oh no Christopher Robin is dying.Mary Poppins I am Governess to the good Christopher Robin My credentials say it all because I do it all I transform children into productive adults of society who will feel a fondness for me long after they have toppled their mothers and fathers from their pedestals That is to say that my shit never stinks But today he is too ill to tidy up the nursery Another name he asks to see on his dying breath A spoonful of fun fun coated in chocolate frosting has not made the medicine go down in the most delicious way Mary Not the virgin Mary It is I, Mary Poppins I suspect the bear has sewn the pills into his belly and is redistributing them on the black market, to the hospital orderlies and registered nurses, to the children s ward and all, for a tidy profit I have laughed until I have cried to the ceiling and back Now I ask you, O wise one, what should I do to reach this boy who would have a higher calling than to listen to me Deathliness is closer to godliness, I fear, than cleanliness.The doctor I could make the bear money on his fun fun, now that you mention it.Mary Poppins conceals her reactions to this business opportunity behind her black umbrella It is not savvy to look too eager The dance of business Joyless steps It is a one way street It takes two to tango and it takes one to screw over.Mary Poppins I make fun fun out of my beautiful spirit and endless bag lady bag of pilfered hospital toiletries and I have no use of middle men.The doctor I did not have enough to wipe today I did not appreciate that.Mary Poppins It is important to wipe Do you remember the proper wiping method that I had showed you when you were a tyke yourself The doctor s mask is less than a pristine white, now that Mary Poppins notices it He should always need her He would be a starving street artist if it were not for her, not to mention the laundry bills and streaked underpants.Christopher Robin s spirit I must get a message to my beloved menagerie The foul governess has put them through the wash to rid them of germs My spirit grows weary of hovering between death, and between life in my smothered human body The smell of Johnson Johnson blurs the lines between that of the spirit, and that of the Earth It is how she wishes it.Mary Poppins Visiting hours are over.She attempts to block that door with that versatile umbrella.Winnie the Pooh I step on the words of Visiting My tushie stays planted on Hours and time will not end until I have had my say.Mary Poppins Very well, but have you washed your hands Let me see them.Winnie s paws are covered with honey He sticks them behind his plushy bottom.Piglet You you You cannooot stop us We have name badges Seee see Visitor Piglet.The doctor looks over their visitor s badges and nods his approval He motions to Winnie the Pooh the international sign of big bucks to be made Pooh blushes.Winnie Christopher Robin, what are we to do without you I have been turning and to the pot.Christopher Robin s spirit bends down to kiss his bear on the forehead.Winnie We must go with other boys and girls and provide companionship We may carry dust mites and illegal narcotics but we ground boys and girls in their beds at night, safe in day dreams and off of high ceilings We do not use them to turn a profit for Mary Poppins Tidy the Nursery Cleaning Company.Piglet Am I crying My comforting face appears the same I I would take to my small and big enough heart the feelings my friends cannot Pooh Bear alone.The doctor I am crying That may be the high, though If I had not given up the accordion I would bend my body in sad and joyous music To Christopher Robin He was me, the better me.Mary Poppins Visiting hours are over, I see.Mary Poppins opens her umbrella over her inexpressive yet mournful face, giving seven years bad luck to all, and levitates out the window of the children s ward, slowly enough to read billboard advertisements for a new position A woman learns an important life lesson when she first enters the dating scene It is possible, although not rewarding enough to outweigh the costs, to come between a boy and his mother Man s best friend, on the other handWinnie I am lonely.The doctor scoops the animals up into his arms and they stop by surgery for some emergency sewing on Pooh s bulging behind He will always need them.Cast of Characters Winnie Poh.Mary Oh No Means Noh.Yo Doc is Wack BFF 4 ever Win Winnie the Pooh I think everyone has heard the name Winnie the Pooh at some point I even remember watching the TV show when I was younger but not for long However, I m one of those people who never got to read the book as a kid and I only rediscovered it now while catching up with all the classics I ve missed out on.So I found this all in one volume online and had to have it since it not only contains all the stories but also has the original illustrations by Ernest Howard Shepard.I have to say, this book is especially delightful because it contains lots of information about the author and illustrator and I always love learning about the interconnectedness of the literary world.In this case, we learn that the author A.A Milne had a son called Christopher Robin who was his inspiration His son s first toys were a stuffed bear, pig, donkey and tiger the animals that formed this story The name for the bear, in part, comes from a she bear that was kept at London Zoo that Christopher Robin loved to visit there is a great movie about it called A Bear Named Winnie with Michael Fassbender I love it although I always cry And the story was only ever published thanks to Mrs Milne We also learn that E.H Shepard s daughter Mary is the illustrator of the Mary Poppins books and that E.H Shepard became so famous for his Winnie Pooh illustrations that he was commissioned to do the original ones for The Wind in the Willows as well In fact, A.A Milne loved the illustrations so much that he wrote the following tribute to E.H Shepard When I am goneLet Shepard decorate my tomb,And put if there is room Two pictures on the stone Piglet from page a hundred and elevenAnd Pooh and Piglet walking 157 And Peter, thinking that they are my own,Will welcome me to heaven. The book itself is divided into two parts 1 Winnie the Pooh, containing the Introduction by the author and 10 storiesand2 The House At Pooh Corner, consisting of A Contraditction and 10 stories.Before the Introduction, there is another dedication, this time to Mrs Milne To HerHand in hand we comeChristopher Robin and ITo lay this book in your lap.Say you re surprised Say you like it Say it s just what you wanted Because it s yours Because we love you.It s these little things that make this edition so special and precious because it allows us a glimpse at who the author was To think that both A.A Milne and E.H Shepard served in World War I and Shepard losing his first born, a son, in Word War II and yet managed to still be kind and gentle and creative and inspiring to me they radiate a certain brightness I did not expect from survivors of a World War I don t think there is much I need to say about the stories themselves Pooh is the silly old bear who often gets into trouble or is just clumsy, while being surrounded by a marvellous cast of friends that are all distinct and lovely and funny The stories are heart warming but also have a deeper meaning as one can only unlock while growing up That is what makes these tales so important to get the stories read to you by a parent when you are little, enjoying the sillyness and coziness of it all then keep reading or re reading them when you get older and discover another layer and some hidden messages To me, these are timeless and absolutely essential.And here are my two absolute favourites although I could quote almost the entire book here I may be the only person on the planet not automatically delighted with Pooh Or rather, I know I m not the only one, because of my daughter.She complained about being bored no less than a dozen times and fell asleep sitting up 5 times.Sigh.Ah, well, not every book is a winner for every person Alas.For me, I personally liked The Tao of Pooh much, much better I guess I get kinda annoyed with Bears of Little Brain. Rivers know this there is no hurry We shall get there some day So I made myself a large cup of tea with honey, got under blankets and read this favorite of mine well, a favorite might a an understatement I might have molded into the Pooh Bear himself, and I m oh so okay with it Some people talk to animals Not many listen though That s the problem There are kids books, and then there are books for all ages Books that are not only adorable, but profound that they make you laugh out loud whether you re 9, 19 or 29 and beyond of course Pooh, said Rabbit kindly, you haven t any brain I know, said Pooh humblyThe edition I read wasn t this one I found incredibly cute and antique one in a local charity book store, but Goodreads didn t even have that edition in its archives tut tut My WEBSITEMy INSTAGRAMMy WORDPRESS BLOG Includes Winnie the Pooh and The House At Pooh Corner both of which have 10 chapters.A lot funnier than I expected Started reading this a few days before National Winnie the Pooh Day Jan 18 the birthday of A A Milne, b 1882.A little confusing for young children because of the point of view The narrator A A Milne is telling a story about his telling a story to his son, Christopher Robin see pp 1 2, 87 The About A A Milne section at the beginning says that Christopher Robin Milne was Alan Alexander and Daphne Milne s only child He received stuffed animals bear, tiger, pig, donkey from Harrods Apparently, Daphne is the one who first had the idea of have Alan write stories about the animals Ernest H Shepard illustrated the books based on his visit to the family farm, which has pine trees, a stream, and a bridge Shepherd also illustrated Kenneth Grahame s The Wind in the Willows Milne died the year my dad was born 1956.A common theme is the anxiety characters have about not knowing answers and appearing ignorant or foolish Pooh and Piglet will often pretend to understand when they actually do not Pooh is often described as a Bear of Little Brain.Winnie the Pooh2 Winnie is typically a nickname for girls named Winifred although Winston Churchill was known to friends as Winnie the justification of the female nickname for a male toy bear is both technical and playful the name of the bear is Winnie the Pooh, not just Winnie the ther in Winnie ther Pooh comes from the British practice of adding the R sound after a schwa18 Pooh got his name possibly from blowing off a fly on his nose.29 W ould you read a Sustaining Book, such as would help and comfort a Wedged Bear in Great Tightness See here 72 Bon hommy bonhomie 77 78 Pooh has a Rom 7 moment he wants to do the right thing, but he gives in to his appetites 131 Piglet remembers a story from the past that helps him take action in the present135 Kara, Kate, and I lol ed at the Honey part143 44 Kate laughed at Owl s boring story that almost kills Piglet probably a play on imprisonment The House at Pooh Corner197 It is the best way to write poetry, letting things come Pooh.211 12 Piglet s fascinating daydream in which he becomes the hero of his own story217 18 Piglet s embarrassment makes him want to run away, but one encouraging word changes everythingCh 5 was pretty funny Kate age 8 and I laughed a lot and sweet Rabbit s self importance, Owl s unwillingness to admit his ignorance, Pooh s obliviousness, Piglet s thoughtfulness, Eeyore s grumpiness and disappointment that Rabbit already knew what he thought only he knew , Christopher Robin s improvement in his education spelling better 256 very creative way of describing the stream259 Poohsticks266 Pooh began to feel a little comfortable after Piglet s compliment , because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it writing 277, 290 91 Rabbit wants to unbounce Tigger and make him a Small and Sorry Tigger, and Oh Rabbit I am glad to see you Tigger by the end, Rabbit who had gotten lost, and was found by Tigger is a Small and Sorry Rabbit who says, Oh, Tigger, I am glad to see you 310 Owl spells his name wol, so a wolery is an owlery abode for owls.311 Pooh Poetry and Hums aren t things which you get, they re things which get you And all you can do is to go where they can find you Cf this TED talk 324 Piglet perhaps spurred on by Pooh s song about how gallant Piglet was does a very noble thing, and it s very touching.330 Eeyore has a please clap moment334 44 The final ten pages with Christopher Robin and Pooh in the enchanted place are sweet The real life Christopher Milne wrote an autobiography titled The Enchanted Places Have a deep, long look at the image above That motley crew are undoubtedly the most famous toy animals in existence.Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore, Kanga I cannot see Roo and last but not least Tigger.A A Milne, and established playwright and writer, constructed silly nursery stories and poems for his young son Christopher Robin, built around his beloved toys He published them And much to his chagrin, he came to be known as the creator of Winnie the Pooh all his serious works were forgotten Read this book, and you will understand why.True, nothing much happens in the stories There are no hair raising escapades, no dashing adventures and no earth shaking events What we have here are a bunch of rather silly animals the team mentioned above, along with two imaginary ones, Rabbit and Owl in Hundred Acre Woods, doing a lot of silly things, talking nonsensically though pompously most of the time, and making prize fools of themselves Yet these stories are magical, for adults and children alike.Christopher Robin is the acknowledged lord of this idyllic kingdom the stories start when he comes down the stairs, dragging Pooh bear behind him bump, bump, bump and ends when he goes up the stairs in the same fashion The cosy world of the nursery transforms itself into a magic land where you can hunt heffalumps or go on expotitions to the North Pole The cast of characters are always the same, and the happenings, similar Where these stories score are in the way the characters are etched With true English underplayed humour, Milne has invested these stuffed toys with fascinating personalities.Pooh, the Bear of Very Little Brain , but subject to occasional flashes of brilliance and bursts of versification.Piglet, the smallest and weakest of them all but sometimes capable of doing Very Grand Things.The clever Rabbit, many a time too much so for his own good.The pedantic and pompous Owl, who can t restrain himself from holding forth at the slightest provocation.The long suffering Eeyore with his never ending complaints.The devoted Kanga and her frisky little son Roo, whom she keeps in her pocket.Happy go lucky Tigger, bouncing all over the woods.These characters are typically English in fact, they could have stepped out from a P.G.Wodehouse novel When a child reads these stories, he she will enjoy them at their face value while the perceptive adult will be fascinated by the subtext.It is no surprise that these stories endure As Milne says the Forest will always be thereand anybody who is Friendly with Bears can find it Christopher Robin will grow up making way for other kids who will take his place But this imaginary landscape will endure, because in that enchanted place on the top of the Forest a little boy and his Bear will always be playing Fantastic book P.S The illustrations by E.H.Shepard should also be mentioned They are so much a part of the story that we cannot imagine the book without the pictures. For the Celebrity Death Match Review Tournament, Heart of Darkness 25 versus The Complete Tales and Poems of Winnie the Pooh 24 In which the animals go on a Second Expotition, and Pooh discovers that Not Everyone Likes HumsThere was a corner of the Hundred Acre Wood that the animals rarely visited Even Eeyore found it too Sad and Gloomy, and it had than its fair share of annoying insects Owl, in his grand way, sometimes called it the Forest s Heart of Darkness, and that always made Piglet shiver and say, thank goodness, he wasn t going to go there soon, no thank you So as you can imagine, not all the animals were pleased when Christopher Robin told them they would undertake a Second Expotition to find out what was in the Dark Patch I m not going there, no thank you said Piglet, trying to sound as firm as possible I m very busy, any number of things to do, like, like But Christopher Robin just laughed Don t worry, Piglet he said We ll all look after you Just stay next to Pooh and you ll be quite safe And before Piglet knew what had happened, they were all walking towards the Dark Patch in a long line, with Christopher Robin and Pooh and him at the front, Rabbit s Friends and Relations at the end, and the other animals in the middle.The Dark Patch was even Darker and Gloomier than they remembered, and strange noises came from the trees The further in they got, the worse it became The ground turned wet and marshy, and one Friend and Relation had to be pulled out when he started to sink Piglet clutched Pooh s hand as tightly as he could and tried not to look around I m scared, Pooh, he whispered You don t think there are Heffalumps here What I think, said Christoper Robin, who had overheard, is that Pooh should give us one of his Hums And Pooh, who had been thinking the very same thing but had been too shy to say so, cleared his throat and began On Monday, when the jungle s hotI wonder to myself a lotNow is it true or is it notThat what is which or which is whatPiglet released his grip on Pooh s hand a tiny fraction, so he continued On Tuesday, when there s gnats and fleasAnd pythons slither through the treesThen very readily one seesThat these are whose but whose are theseThere aren t really any Pythons asked Piglet in a terrified voice Well, said Pooh, I only put them in because they Came To Me I m going to take them right out again And he continued On Wednesday But the animals never found out what happened on Wednesday, because at that moment a loud, groaning voice came from the forest right in front of them The Hummer The Hummer it said Oh Pooh said Piglet It is a Python Or a Heffalump Oh, what shall we do I don t know, said Pooh Whatever it is, it Doesn t Like My Hums He wondered if he should feel offended, but before he could decide they suddenly came out in a remarkably pleasant clearing The sun was shining brightly, there was soft grass to sit on, butterflies were flitting between the flowers, and a charming little lake just seemed to call out to the animals to paddle their tired feet in it What a lovely place said Kanga in surprise Who could have imagined it would be right in the middle of the Dark Patch I shall call it Pooh s Pond, said Christopher Robin firmly And now I think it s time for lunch So they all unpacked their food and had a perfectly wonderful picnic And from that day on, no one was ever again scared of the Dark Part of the Forest.